According to a poll conducted by the digital magazine Wealth of Geeks, the city of Heber City, Utah, is one of America’s most underrated nightlife spots. Wealth of Geeks surveyed 3,000 people on the question. A neighborhood called Sawtelle Japantown in Los Angeles ranked No. 1, followed by a neighborhood near Memphis, Tennessee, and the downtown area of Greenwood, South Carolina.
And somehow, Heber City, Utah, ranked 12th.
Um. What?
Heber City is best known for being an area many pass through and maybe stop in to get gas on their way to Park City or the surrounding mountain areas. It has a population of just over 17,000 residents, and, as far as I can tell, one main road. It couldn’t take more than 30 minutes to walk from one side of Heber City to the other.
I don’t know many people who have spent more than an hour in the city, let alone an entire night on the town. So I’m puzzled by these poll results.
I mean no disrespect. Heber City is a lovely town. It even has a park and a few stoplights. But the 12th most underrated nightlife spot in America? I just have a hard time believing that canvassers asked partygoers across the country which towns have the most underrated nightlife and even one person said, “Heber City, Utah.”
Salt Lake City? Sure. It’s our capital city and a club and restaurant hub. Park City? Naturally. Sundance brings in stars from all over the world for the film festival every winter. I might even understand Provo, since it has a university and more than a hundred thousand residents. But there’s just no way anyone would think “Heber” when asked about their favorite party destination.
Heber City has one restaurant I can name off the top of my head: Dairy Keen — home of the train. The miniature train orbits the fast-casual restaurant interior via a track just below the ceiling and is beloved by patrons aged 2-7. Dairy Keen closes at 10 p.m. So I doubt it’s the nightlife hotspot of which the poll speaks.
There’s really only one plausible place where these so-called night-life-loving partygoers might be gathering.
In addition to Dairy Keen and a movie theater with one screen and one showtime per day, Heber City has a bowling alley called Holiday Lanes where my husband and I bowled during our honeymoon in 2010.
During the hipster-heavy days of the late aughts and early 2010s, it seemed every new entertainment venue was fashioned to reflect midcentury modern design. Holiday Lanes is a venue that became en vogue simply by virtue of remaining unchanged since it opened in 1962.
On my honeymoon, there were more people in Holiday Lanes than l had ever seen in one spot in Heber City, even Dairy Keen, and we had to wait a while to get a lane. Once we did, the floors were so slick we both slipped and fell more than once, and the lane so warped that the bowl would roll up a hill and down a valley before it reached the pins. It added a fun challenge to the game.
The french fries were hot and salty and the Diet Coke crisp and cold. Between the slipping and falling and the bowling balls that were almost too greasy to hold, we both bowled the worst games of our lives. And it is absolutely one of my favorite nightlife memories.
I doubt it’s a memory any of the poll respondents share. But maybe word of Heber City’s charming historic Main Street, the Dairy Keen train and wavy bowling lanes have spread. I kind of hope it hasn’t, though. It’s a nightlife spot I’d like to keep for myself.