Well, well, well. If it isn’t another national trend Utah was light years ahead on.
First it was the Stanley cup. Then it was dirty sodas. Then it was fry sauce. Now, naming babies after random household objects, or a random assortment of consonants and vowels, is in.
In the past two weeks, both The New York Times and The Washington Post have run stories on Americans choosing unusual baby names, a subject brought to the social media spotlight after the internet’s favorite home cook, Nara Smith, named her third child Whimsy Lou.
I would be remiss if I did not mention that Smith’s other two children are named Rumble Honey and Slim Easy. A fact that never fails to make me laugh.
In The New York Times, Madison Malone Kircher wrote, “In 2024, almost anything can be a name.”
Guess what. In Utah, we’ve been naming our babies things like Lightsaber and Pergola for decades. It just took a while for the rest of the nation to catch up.
In the early 2010s, a Utah woman posted a photo of herself, with a clearly pregnant belly, standing next to a chalkboard with potential baby name options. Taylee, McKarty, Nayvie and Maylee were all crossed out. Lakynn, the chosen name for her daughter, was circled. The woman was mocked online for weeks for choosing a name that sounded like an invasive moss species. But who’s laughing now?
Washington Post writer Daniel Wolfe spoke to baby name expert Laura Wattenber about trends in baby names. Wattenber told him that while many parents try to name their baby something unique, most actually end up following societal trends and name their baby something extremely common, whether they mean to or not.
To that I say, you’ve clearly never met a Utah family with 10 children, all of whom are named after different people in the Book of Mormon. The other day I was at a park and heard a mother calling for her son Zion. There’s nothing about our names that correlates with the zeitgeist (except maybe a baby named Zeitgeist). Utah parents are attempting to choose unique names and actually defying trends.
I’m just a little tired of our people being mocked for our taste in beverages, beverage containers, french fry condiments and the names we give our children to only then, a few years later, see that taste spread across the world with nary a hint of credit given to those who bravely ordered birth certificates for their newborns Maple Syrup and Mailbox a decade or two ago.
You know who you have to thank for coconut Dr Pepper? Us. You know who you have to thank for a tumbler that keeps ice cold even in a car fire? Us. You know who you have to thank for Mayochup? Us. And do you know who you can thank when you proudly introduce your baby named Ascot on social media and are not met with any withering comments or disappointed looks from grandparents? Us. And I’d like some recognition and gratitude. Maybe a cash distribution to everyone in the state. Go ahead and send that to me personally. I’ll make sure to divide it up equally.
According to the report compiled annually by Social Security, the top names for baby males and females in 2023 were all somewhat traditional. Liam, Noah, Oliver, James, Elijah, Mateo, Theodore, Henry, Lucas and William for boys, and Olivia, Emma, Charlotte, Amelia, Sophia, Mia, Isabella, Ava, Evelyn and Luna for girls. These are all names I think we all have heard before.
But I won’t be surprised in the near future when Potpourri is the top name for girls and Rutabaga is the top name for boys. And I’ll be expecting a thank you.