In our home, we have two categories for children’s media: garbage and not-garbage. In the not-garbage category are shows and movies that help our children learn something. What they learn does not necessarily need to be academic, though we are big fans of “Numberblocks” and “Brainchild” on Netflix which teach about numbers and science. They can also be shows that teach social skills like “Daniel Tiger” on PBS or explore the complexity of emotions like “Bluey” and any Pixar movie on Disney+.
In the garbage category is pretty much anything on YouTube: videos of other kids playing with their toys, shoddy animation, and anything with crude jokes that my kids might repeat at school or in church or to a grocery store cashier. Sometimes my 5-year-old son will yell from the basement, “I’m not watching garbage,” which means he is absolutely watching some 7-year-old in Indiana describe each of his action figures in detail and he is trying to throw us off the scent.
The line between garbage and not-garbage is not hard and fast though. When my kids were younger, and I was occasionally desperate to keep them occupied for 15 minutes at a time, “Cocomelon” — which has terrible animation and obnoxious songs but will put toddlers in a trance — was a not-garbage show. “Blippi,” which ostensibly teaches children about animals, colors and the way things work, has a very grating host and has therefore been placed in the garbage category and banned from ever being watched again. The line is fluid, however, I usually know garbage when I see it. And I usually know not-garbage when I see it.
But I’m finding “Despicable Me 4″ tough to put in one category or the other.
“Despicable Me 4,″ which premiered last week, is the third “Despicable Me” sequel and the sixth movie in the franchise which includes two “Minions” films. Over the past week, it has earned $122.6 million at the box office, I assume from families like mine who spent part of the holiday weekend at the theater, excited about a movie we could all see together.
We are no strangers to the franchise. As a family we have seen each of the previous “Despicable Me” films and both of the “Minions” spinoffs. While they were not outright educational, they each contained a message about the importance of family, of coming together, and at least a few good jokes. They were entertaining and had enough emotional content to be not-garbage. Which is what I expected from the fourth installment.
“Despicable Me 4″ features the same fun, cartoony animation as the previous films. It is aesthetically fun to watch. Characters are voiced by Steve Carell, Kristin Wiig and Steve Coogan, so it’s also fun to listen to. But there is not much by way of a story. Or rather, there is too much story, nearly one for every character and a whole bunch for the crew of minions, and none of it really connects until the end, which barely brings it all together like a broken vase reconstructed sloppily with glue. Some of the sequences were funny, but had little to do with the actual plot, and some of the jokes were of the “I hope my kid doesn’t repeat this at school” variety. Regrettably, those were the jokes that got the biggest laughs from the kids in the audience, including mine.
It’s not that I expect Shakespearean levels of story from an Illumination Studios film targeted to kindergarteners, but the story was so all over the place and disjointed that I found it hard not to feel like I had wasted $75 on tickets for a movie that felt like a cash grab for everyone involved in its making.
And that’s a tough look on the heels of “Inside Out 2,” which I have now taken each of my children to see without so much as flinching at the ticket prices because I find its messaging about prioritizing mental health so important and so not-garbage, and I want to encourage studios to make more movies like it.
That said, I don’t want every animated feature to be Pixar. Sometimes I want to go to the movies with my kids and not be reduced to a puddle of tears. I just want us to have a good time watching a simple, funny story with an easy-to-understand message that lands it firmly in the not-garbage category. Which is what I wanted from “Despicable Me 4.”
What I got was a movie that, if my kids were watching at home, my son would probably yell, “I’m not watching garbage,” and I would know that actually, he was. And one that I regret spending $75 on, because I don’t want studios to make more like it.
“Despicable Me 4″ is rated PG for mild violence and gore and mild profanity.